Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Power of Negative Thinking

I know, it sounds counterintuitive, positive thinking is all the rage. There is probably some ridiculous research out there that says people who think positively are more successful (I always wonder how they measure stuff like this). We always tell children if you think you can, you can etc. Overall, I'd say I am an optimist. I am happy and I enjoy life. However, I also subscribe to the belief that one should always hope for the best, but expect/plan for the worst. Thinking my kindergarten kids will behave perfectly when I'm being observed is not going to get me anywhere. Planning a lesson where I anticipate aspects where they might have difficulty and prevent these from spiraling in a negative direction, now that's going to help. Maybe they won't need any of my prevention strategies, maybe they would be perfect little 5 year old angels, but better safe than sorry.

So now, when it is most needed, I am going to begin the power of negative thinking for a certain day that is coming up...July 10th aka, wedding day. Personally I feel that after our hotel going bankrupt, having to scramble for a new location for our closest family and friends (along with ourselves), moving our welcome party (which was also supposed to be there) and having pouring rain for our bachelorette/bachelor parties, it SHOULD be sunny and gorgeous on July 10th. Unfortunately, as our parents told us as children, life simply isn't fair. In all reality, this idea that life isn't fair is actually a massive advantage to me, as I've definitely had more than my share of luck in my life.

I know the "life isn't fair" philosophy applies to weddings as well...

#1-It poured for my friend Tiff's bachelorette party, then her wedding day was what can only be described as a monsoon. On the other hand, it was gorgeous days for the rest of my friend's bachelorette's and nice days for their wedding. So in fact, if you go by my friend's alone- I should expect it to rain on my wedding day, since it rained on my bachelorette.

#2- My friend Ash went to a wedding on the Cape last summer. It was for a lovely couple that has been together for a long time. The husband has a heart condition and has spent weeks in the hospital at a time, with his lovely wife right by his side. If anyone deserved a gorgeous wedding it was them. But gorgeous it was not...some crazy end of the summer hurricane came up the coast and that was what they got on their wedding day. So isn't fair, weddings aren't fair.

So instead of thinking positively that it WILL NOT, CAN NOT rain on my wedding day, I am taking a new approach.

First, I am getting myself excited about back up plans. I love the place where I'm getting married and although it will not have a great view of the water if it's rainy out, it will still be an amazing place. My photographer plans to bring fun umbrellas so we can still have outdoor pictures. My hair will be secured in place by insane amounts of hair spray. Everyone will probably be able to hear what we say during the ceremony better. It will be fine.

Second, I am remembering some of the fun weddings Eric and I have been to in the rain. We had a great time regardless and so did the bride and groom.


Thirdly, I am not checking the weather. At all. Later today I am going to set parental controls on my computer so that I am UNABLE to go to or on my computer. Seriously, I need to be physically restricted because I am a big weather checker. I will also avoid the news and if anyone even considers telling me I will cover my ears. The reason why I will not check it is because, let's face it, the weather is wrong A LOT. The worst part about the rain on my bachelorette party was the fact that for over a week it has said it was going to be a beautiful day. We were all talking about how perfect the weather was going to be, sunny, not too hot etc. Then, slowly, as we got closer to the weekend, the chance of rain got higher, and higher. Until it was very clear that we were going to be sitting in the rain watching a Red Sox game.


Did we have fun still? Of course! So really, the worst part was disappointment that came with the expectation that it would be a beautiful sunny day. This time, I will not have the expectation. I will assume it's going to rain, and if it doesn't, I'll be happily surprised. I was really pissed off at those weather people for lying to me last time. I even looked up how much money they make and was even more angry to learn that they make double my salary only to be wrong CONSTANTLY. If I was wrong that often I'd definitely be out of a job. This time I will not let the weather people fool me again. Ever heard the expression, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Yup, thats right you crazy overpaid weather people, you will not fool me again :)

Do you think to expect the best or the worst?


  1. Defintely don't think about the weather. There is nothing you can do about it! We got married during one of the rainiest summers ever and on August 1 the sun came out and it was beautiful. I never looked or listened to the weather for the month of July because there was no use in worrying about it. At the rehearsal dinner it poured for about 30 minutes then went away. After Aug 1 it rained every single weekend, so we got lucky. Just enjoy everything you can because it goes by TOO FASSST!!!

    Really, just don't even set yourself up for anything besides thinking about what the day is about: Marrying the man you love and will spend the rest of your life with. 10 years from now people won't remember the weather or the small details or even the way the cake looked... but they will remember how you two looked at each other and acted all night long! Enjoy!!!

  2. I'm definitely a 'hope for the best, plan for the worst' personality for the most part. Here's hoping things work out PERFECTLY on your wedding day!

  3. Yep, yep, I definitely subscribe to the 'better safe than sorry' attitude. No matter what it's your day - so own it!

  4. I'm also expecting the worse. I'm guessing it's either going to be miserably hot and humid or pouring with thunder and lightening. Or even better, both. I figure at this point, it doesn't matter and I don't really care because I'm marrying my best friend and that's all that really counts.

  5. I'm the same. I never expect the best, I always expect the worst to happen. That way, I can be pleasantly surprised when good does happen! I'm not sure if this is the most effective way to live but it's good for me right now. Hehe! :)

  6. I've seen some of the best, most memorable and adorable wedding photos in some of the worst weather!

  7. I'm definitely more of a 'hope for the best, prepare for the worst' kind of person. I think it's good to be mentally prepared for the ups and downs of life. I don't like being caught off guard so I guess it is a defense mechanism.

    I think it's wise to not check the weather. It can always change so no use getting your hopes up or being disapppointed for days and then have the opposite thing occur. I will, however, be praying for a beautiful day for a beautiful couple. :)

  8. I actually really LOVE expecting the worst. I feel like when I look forward to things I always get let down (this may sound sad, but really I just have a very active imagination). I am also not going to look at the weather.. I won't go as far as parental controls though : )

  9. "positive thinking is all the rage"

    "So isn't fair, weddings aren't fair"

    "ater today I am going to set parental controls on my computer so that I am UNABLE to go to or on my computer. "

    Am I really the only one LAUGHING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW? Really?! Because seriously, this is probably THE FUNNIEST post of yours that I've read yet.

    I can't even leave you a serious comment. I am laughing too hard. Especially at the above three statements that I loved so much I had to copy and paste.

  10. I was so worried about rain, but it turned out to be a beautiful day. I certainly did try to prepare myself mentally for the possibility of rain. I think that helped. I'll be crossing my fingers for a sunny wedding weekend :)

  11. Hey, rain on your wedding day is GOOD luck! So, while it may be ugly and annoying, it'll all work on in the end.
    I think you are right about expecting the worse. I do that a lot because if I don't I usually end up getting let down. Like my job, for example. Nick and I kept saying, "I didn't get the job" even when we had NO IDEA! We just expected the worse so that if I DIDN'T get the job, it wouldn't be too upsetting. But then when I DID, it was that much more exciting :)

    I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WEDDING IS IN TEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. No matter what- it is going to be a great day! Focus on what go you two, not weather. No matter what it will be great! PS- your wedding day is the day after my bday- I'll send you some good wishes :)

  13. No matter what happens it will be a perfect day... or story. You should read Amanda from Run to the Finish's wedding story, she had a disaster! I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  14. Just think that no matter what happens at the end of the day you are married to the man you love. Rain or no rain doesn't change the outcome of what an amazing day it is going to be! :) With that's hoping it doesn't rain! :)

  15. I always hope for the best, even if I am in a rut of bad luck!

    It rained at my sisters outdoor wedding (the ceremony) 3 years ago, but the rest of the evening was absolutely beautiful!

    Don't they say that when it rains at a wedding it means you're going to be rich?!